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Half In/Half Out
I've been a Christian for the past two years, basically since April 27 2007. All though really my whole life, I have been debating the big questions like "Who is God?" "Is He Real?" You know the questions I'm talking about.
When I first went to the church, I gradually became more and more reserved. Dressing modestly, not drinking, trying not to have sex... I was basically trying to live the Godly life but by living the "Godly" life, I didn't have a real life, you know, the fun awesome "let's go wild and party" life that I saw everyone else practice.
It's not easy being a Christian and see the majority of the population getting drunk, using drugs, having sex, etc.
In the beginning of the Summer that just passed, I was reunited with my old high school best friend who had been living in England for the past four years. She's a witch and my Christian friends have basically warned me against her. In the six or so months that she's been back I've been dabbling into things that let's just say the Church wouldn't be proud of me for.
I've been stealing, I've been drinking, I've been promiscuous and I even bummed a few smokes off Cat (the witch). I don't know if this new Anti-Christ behaviour is because of Cat's presence or not but my Christian friends definately believe that it is.
I'm kind of half in and half out about the whole thing. I have fun when I'm with Cat, I feel like I belong when I'm with Cat, more so than when I'm at church. When I go to the young adults program (Imprint) on Fridays I feel like I'm at a party where I know no one but the host. I do believe in God though and I feel an encounter with Him almost every time I worship at church. So yeah, maybe the social bit isn't the best but when we praise and worship I feel so elevated in such a pure and awesome natural high. That's the power of music I suppose.
So I'm going back to Church on Sunday week (this Sunday is Mother's Day) and my plan is to get reconnected into the church and find my passion again. My belief is, that I don't have to let go of Cat's friendship to be a good Christian and I don't need to be a bible basher to be Cat's friend. I know that God is with me in the form of my conscience and whenever I am struggling he is like an eternal compass leading me towards the light.
When I first went to the church, I gradually became more and more reserved. Dressing modestly, not drinking, trying not to have sex... I was basically trying to live the Godly life but by living the "Godly" life, I didn't have a real life, you know, the fun awesome "let's go wild and party" life that I saw everyone else practice.
It's not easy being a Christian and see the majority of the population getting drunk, using drugs, having sex, etc.
In the beginning of the Summer that just passed, I was reunited with my old high school best friend who had been living in England for the past four years. She's a witch and my Christian friends have basically warned me against her. In the six or so months that she's been back I've been dabbling into things that let's just say the Church wouldn't be proud of me for.
I've been stealing, I've been drinking, I've been promiscuous and I even bummed a few smokes off Cat (the witch). I don't know if this new Anti-Christ behaviour is because of Cat's presence or not but my Christian friends definately believe that it is.
I'm kind of half in and half out about the whole thing. I have fun when I'm with Cat, I feel like I belong when I'm with Cat, more so than when I'm at church. When I go to the young adults program (Imprint) on Fridays I feel like I'm at a party where I know no one but the host. I do believe in God though and I feel an encounter with Him almost every time I worship at church. So yeah, maybe the social bit isn't the best but when we praise and worship I feel so elevated in such a pure and awesome natural high. That's the power of music I suppose.
So I'm going back to Church on Sunday week (this Sunday is Mother's Day) and my plan is to get reconnected into the church and find my passion again. My belief is, that I don't have to let go of Cat's friendship to be a good Christian and I don't need to be a bible basher to be Cat's friend. I know that God is with me in the form of my conscience and whenever I am struggling he is like an eternal compass leading me towards the light.
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